i know, so exciting!

Stay tuned guys, we’ll get this thing up and running in no time!

I threw my arms around him, and he wrapped his reassuring arms around me too. I buried my face into his neck, ignoring the stabbing feeling, telling me not to ask, but I needed to know.

            “Why?” I asked, inhaling his familiar scent. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

He held me tighter for moment, “I don’t know.” He whispered.

I let go, I didn’t want to be reminded that I would never be able to do that again.

            “Then good bye.” I said, meeting his pale blue eyes.

            “I hate good byes.” He murmured, looking away.

I heaved a breath, willing my tears not to fall right then, “If you hated them, then why did you do this?”

He said nothing, and I walked away. As much as I wanted to hit him, and slap him… it didn’t matter. No matter how many punches I threw, the pain would never match the hurt that had been inflicted on me. The roots cracked under my feet, it suited the moment, because it was the exact sound of my aching heart.

            “Tell me again.” Lila asked, her voice sounded concerned over the phone.

I sighed, “He has a girlfriend.” The words hit me like twin daggers.

            “But why? I don’t get it.” Lila’s confusion was nothing compared to mine.

            “I don’t get it either Lila. I just don’t understand.” I looked down at the bracelet he made me. The string was frayed at the edges, but it still held shape.

            “What exactly did he say?” I could hear her click a pen nervously.

            “I don’t want to talk about it Lila. I just really don’t want to right now.”

            “Okay Cara.” She said, “Call me when you’re ready.” Then she hung up.

I hugged my pillow, wishing for another bear hug, wanting to feel warm again. The tears tumbled down my cheeks and clung to the cotton on the pillow, slowly leaking into the fabric.

            “So, Cara.” Gina Killow asked in Math. “I hear you hooked up with that Cameron guy.”

            “We didn’t ‘hook up’.” I said, pulling a pencil from behind my ear, my hair hiding my face.

            “Sure looked like it, what happened?” Gina asked.

I looked up at her. “He has a girlfriend.”

How many times was I going to have to say those words before they didn’t hurt anymore? Days? Weeks? How many more hours was I going to have to suffer?

            “That sucks. I’ve been there.”

            I met her eyes, “I really don’t think you have Gina.”

            I’m sorry. That’s what he said. I never meant to hurt you, or lead you on. I didn’t know that you would care. He didn’t think I’d care? The email hurt more than the time I broke my ankle. I knew that painkillers would make that go away, but no amount of medicine could make this certain brand of hurt leave. I couldn’t hit the delete button fast enough. Are you sure you want to delete this (these) selected message(s)? Was I sure? Yes, I was sure. I wanted to delete everything, make everything go away. I paused, my finger hovering over the enter key. I remember the first time he hugged me. The first smile, so bright and wide, making me smile in return. The eagerness to spend all my time with him, and forget about everything else. How wanted I felt when he was with me. I remembered it all. Did I want to lose that? I exited the box, and moved it to the “saved” folder.

No, I’d be stronger from this.

His pace was still that of haste; his strides long, his walk of somebody on a mission. It was cold, almost unbearably so, outside of that apartment. Yet, he preferred it, as to being stuck in there with her.

He remembered how she had crawled for him, told him not to go. She had looked so pathetic, mascara running down her face, which had been more pale than ever before. She begged him not go to. But it was too late. The damage had been done. He choked back a tear, and kept his pace.

He turned a corner, and felt his mind begin to drift. Drift backwards, swimming through time as though it’s laws were nothing but mere water. Drifting back to when things were simple, oh so simple.

The first memory that was weaved into his brain was one that he could remember clear as crystal; their first kiss.

The night was well underway when they had finally returned. It had been a picture-perfect first date; dinner at an exquisite restaurant, and then a quick movie at the local cinema. They had walked home, arm in arm, laughing to one another about people, places, and nothing at all.

As she walked to the door to her stairwell, he embraced her tenderly, as was usual for them after a date. However, this time, their gazes were caught by the crescent moon in the sky. It’s pale glow wrapped around them, and as he found his eyes returning to hers, he felt a tingle go up his spine.

The moonlight had caused her skin to radiate a soft, lustrous glow. Her lips, a deep red, had been magnified. In her eyes, the moon was reflected, watching on as though this was only for it’s eyes. In that moment, he knew. He felt himself lean in, and watched with a slight shock as she, too, leaned towards his face.

As he slowly closed his eyes, he could see that she had done the same. He could feel her cold breath on his face. She was drawing closer, closer. And, within an instant, he felt their lips entwine.

Standing on the sidewalk, his eyes closed, he couldn’t think of anything that had felt so good before, or indeed, after that first kiss. Her lips tasted of sweet, delicate strawberries. Reaching his hand to her cheek, and gracing it softly, he felt her skin. As delicate as her lips.

Slowly, he pulled away from her, his eyes opening. He noticed that she had taken longer to open her eyes; was she savouring the moment more than he? He couldn’t think of why; he wasn’t nearly as great as she was.

She looked up at him, and he saw her face contort into that of a smile. All of a sudden, she embraced him again, which came as a soft surprise. He felt her pull him close to her body. As he stood there, her warmth radiating to him, he couldn’t help but smile up at the sky.

A car honking pulled him from his memory, back into the haze that was reality. Where was he? Upon inspection, he realized that he was close to his goal. A nearby market store, offering nothing special in particular. Walking in, he found what he was looking for at the counter. Paying the man behind it, at the expense of a curious glance, he strode out, gripping the small object in his hand.

He was close. His heart was racing; five more minutes. Walking eastward, as he had been doing so before, he slowly felt the haze of the small city leaving. As it did, he could feel his mind trying to break into his memories, to unseal what he had meant to keep inside. No, he couldn’t allow it.

Stopping, he rubbed his temples, clearly showing his stress to the outside world. He didn’t mind; it seemed like stress was the only thing that was abundant in his life now. Regaining his composure, he fought against the pain brought on by his memories, instead choosing to focus on the task at hand.

As silence began to surround him, he found his gaze looking up. Although exceptionally cold, it hadn’t rained for two weeks. There wasn’t even a hint of frost on the grass in the mornings. And there it stood, silent as always. The wind blew past his back, and towards the great object before him.

The tree. The mighty tree. That god damned oak tree. He had come to hate it in the previous weeks; now, it stood, and he could almost feel a mocking energy. As though the tree were laughing at him, ridiculing his very existence. Fiddling with his hair nervously, he suddenly remembered the small object in his hand.

Smiling calmly to himself, he began to walk into the farm field. Looking up, he could see the stars, each one a small twinkle in the vast sky. They seemed so small compared to the moon, yet he knew the moon was but a fraction of their size. Sighing to himself, he turned his head back towards the tree.

Walking along the grass, he could hear almost complete silence, save the wind blowing through the grass, creating an unsettling atmosphere. It wasn’t the soft summer breeze he enjoyed; it was howling, an angry one. So unlike the calming, graceful wind the accompanied summer. Why did winter have to be so cold?

He stepped up to the tree, dismissing his thoughts of the cold swirling about him. He looked up, at that colossal entity. The leaves had long fallen off, and all that remained were the dead branches.

Silence swirled about him. The tree branches cracked. Looking down, he opened his hand, which he realized he had been clenching this whole time. In his hand, he could the shimmer of metal. It was warm, for he had held it the whole way here.

A small zippo lighter.

Flicking it open, he watched the flames dance around, the wind batting at them furiously. When it finally went out, he again started it, only to just watch it happen again. He loved the glow that fire made. And he was going to make that glow seen for miles around.

He tossed the zippo to the tree, which, to his surprise, almost immediately flared up. He had expected to have needed to nurse the flames. But, the evidence in front of him led him to believe otherwise. Already, the fire had spread around the great tree trunk, lapping at it.

He felt the heat radiating off of it. Oh comment brûlures beauté. The tree had meant so much to him… or rather, to them. They had met underneath it. They had spent many afternoons, including their first year anniversary. Which reminded him of something else.

Reaching into his coat pocket, he pulled out the picture. He looked down at it. Simpler days. Happier days. Better days. But none of that mattered now. He couldn’t get that back. He had to let go, as painful an idea as that seemed.

Drawing his eyes away from the smiling couple that seemed so unfamiliar to him now, he realized that almost the whole tree had been engulfed by the storm of fire. His zippo rest at the base, the flames dancing upon the metal as though they were possessed. Smoke rose into the sky, creating something that crafted itself as perfect in his mind.

He didn’t need her. He could find his own perfection.

Tossing the photo, he watched it sail gracefully through the air, before landing upon the base of the tree. The flame immediately gobbled it up, as a starving dog would to food. He watched the photograph for a moment, watching it shrivel up in the flame.

Turning on heel, he walked away from the tree, fresh tears forming in his eyes. He walked away, not bothering to turn his head back.

He had burnt his bridges.

Her voice echoed out through the apartment, empty, save for him. He stood there, silent, arms folded, watching her through the corner of his eyes. She could see the tears falling from his eyes; those eyes that were once caring, now chilled her like frostbite.

She could feel her own tears, too. Like raindrops falling from a darkened cloud, they fell of her face, bits of her mascara dripping down with them. Her face was pale still, as it had always been. Though, it had grown more so in the past few weeks; she had stopped going out.

Looking at him, she could feel malice rising through her, feel the anger flowing through her bloodstream. She wanted to make him hurt, make him cry, make him say something. Make him feel something. Make him love her back.

Looking down to her side, she found the one thing that could make him feel. The one last thing that they both clung to. She felt herself smile maliciously; she knew what she had to do. This would make him pay. He would feel.

Reaching her hand to it, she gripped on to it hard. And, like the child she still was, she threw it. As she let go, she could see him look up, his face in a mixture of shock, and pain. He watched it sail through the air, as did she – and then it smashed.

The picture flew from the frame, which fell to the floor. Falling to a rest on the carpet softly, she looked down at it. It was him, and her. They were sitting underneath that great tree, smiling as they always did near it. She was wearing her white dress; him, his white button-up shirt and his regular jeans. They were holding each other in that photograph, her eyes closed, his eyes looking down at her.

“I NEVER WANT TO SEE YOU AGAIN!”

The silence that followed was thick, almost unearthly. She looked up, panting slightly, to meet his gaze. He watched her, unmoving, his gaze still cold and unloving. He began to walk – his shoes making a click sound that disturbed that ever-present silence – towards her. She felt herself rise inside; was he coming to her? How dare he!

Until she noticed him stop, almost four feet away from her. His eyes never left hers; she felt trapped in his gaze, the one that had once shown a love, a legitimate love, something from a fairy tale. Until he broke his eyes from hers, sending them downwards.

Bending down, he slowly picked up the picture. As he did, something dawned on her. He was shaking. He was sobbing like a baby, though he tried to hide it. He had never been good at hiding his sadness. She could see teardrops fall on to the picture, almost staining the moment frozen in time.

He finally brought his eyes back to hers. And then, she could see; he wasn’t cold, he was hurt. He wasn’t unloving, he was bleeding inwardly. And she finally realized that she had driven him away. It hadn’t been him at all. She had pushed, and he clung desperately so, trying to pull back what once was.

But it seemed that he had finally given up fighting. She saw it in his eyes.

Defeat.

And then he spoke, a hushed whisper, his voice soft like a newborn wind.

“Then I’m going.”

Turning quickly, he walked away from her, towards the door. She felt herself breaking apart. Numbness swept her body, and she sobbed like she had never before. Her knees gave way, but she paid no mind to what was happening to her. He was leaving. She couldn’t let him leave.

“W-w-w-wait! … D-do-don’t g-g-g-go!”

She sputtered, coughing slightly. She was on the ground, in the position of a homeless man begging for food. She couldn’t find the strength to stand; it felt as though her legs had been cut off. She began crawling towards the door, a pathetic sight. What had she done? Did she deserve this?

Looking up at him, she watched as he grabbed his coat. He cast his gaze backwards, his eyes still showing the betrayal and pain they had masked not moments ago. She stopped crawling, her eyes widened.

“Goodbye.”

And with that, he opened the door. Turning has head to his front, he closed the door softly behind him, ignoring her screams of protest. As he walked down the sole flight of stairs, and out into the bitter wind, he could still hear her sobbing loudly from above. As he walked, he heard a window open from above.

“I STILL LOVE YOU! I’M SORRY!”

People passing by looked up at the window, then at him. He didn’t look back; his eyes fixated at his feet, he walked with haste.

He knew what he had to do.

—

Part 2 of Forever.

She wore a white dress, her sandals off somewhere in the grass nearby. He wore a loose white button-up, and black jeans. His shoes seemed to have joined hers, for they weren’t anywhere nearby. The grass tickled their feet, the wind rustled their hair playfully.

Looking down, he watched her. Lying in his lap, he couldn’t picture anything more perfect. Her soft, auburn hair fell around his lap beautifully. Her soft, pale face was one which models could only dream for. Her radiant blue-green eyes were more majestic than even the most beautiful water in the Mediterranean Sea. Closing her eyes, she sighed softly, a small smile present on her lips.

Not wanting to disturb the peace, he rest his hands at his side, feeling comfortable against the great tree. Looking up at the branches, a thought suddenly struck him; one that was strong enough to overpower his need to not disturb the moment.

“Do you think we’ll be together forever?”

Opening her eyes in surprise, she looked up. She saw the most perfect face in the world; soft, yet with a darkened tone. She watched his raven black hair flip-flop around, as the wind toyed with it like a child with a toy car. His chocolate brown eyes were usually cold, unfeeling; but around her, they seemed to morph. They were soft, caring; one may even say loving.

Reaching her hand over her head, she quickly found his hand. Taking a soft grip, she placed her fingers between his, her soft hands intertwined with the coarse hands of her lover.

“Of course I do.”

She smiled up at him, her perfect features all the more sublime in the sunlight. He smiled right back, and felt grateful for everything. He had not a care in the world, and neither did she.

Sports

[swimming]

On Halloween weekend Stelly’s was involved in a swim meet, and we rocked! We placed in the top five nineteen times!  Craig Logan was on fire, he won both his Boys 50 Free race, and his Boys 50 Breast. You just know that he worked his butt off for those. Some other double medalists include; Emma Jespersen, Ken Naito, and Annie Ewart. Our male swimmers teamed up in relays for 3 placings while the girls teamed up for 2. Some of our very best swimmers got together for 2 places in the top five. Other noticeable swimming efforts include efforts by; Travis Graetz, who got second in his Boys 100 Free race, Erin Heywood, who got third in her Girls 50 Free race, and Lindsay Hardcastle, who got fourth in her Girls 100 IM race.

[rowing]

Stelly’s was competing in a regatta, and we should all be proud of our rowers. The Stelly’s Stingers were on the podium a total of 12 times! The senior boys single rowed by Niall Paltiel won gold, and then he came back and won the senior boys double with Graham Obee. The quad won silver and novice quad placed in second by half a second, and want revenge at the city championships. In an almost school-wide team effort the senior novice boys eight got silver in their race with 2 rowers from the senior girls and 2 from the junior boys.

The senior girls placed first in two races, the senior girls double rowed by Natalie Ross and Ashley Molholm, and the senior novice girls quad rowed by Amber Smith, Carolyn Hait, Zayda Crane, and Justine Gage, who is a junior. The senior girls quad finished an exiting second rowed by Natalie Ross, Ashley Molholm, Rachel Fellner, and Anna Braunizer. They also got a couple of close fourth place finishes.

The junior girls team came together this regatta for two gold and two bronze medals in a very strong showing with city championships coming up. The junior girls novice quad won by the biggest margin of the weekend and was rowed by Eliza, Justine, Olivia, and Tara. The second gold medal was from the junior novice eight. The girls’ two bronze medals came from the junior girls eight and double.

On this particular weekend it seemed like the junior boys had a curse on them, placing fourth, just off the podium, in most of their races. You can bet that they will be ready to break through onto the podium for the city championships though.

Three Days Grace tour, Victoria BC, November 16, 2009

Default who is opening for Three Days Grace along their tour promoting their new album, Life Starts Now, have only proven their place among those in the music industry. This is a bit of a twist since the last time Default toured with Three Days Grace it was Three Days Grace opening. With a clear cut sound and a wonderful performance Default has gained an all new level of respect from many including that of myself. Default, playing their single, Wasting My Time, from the album The Fall Out clearly displayed their music abilities.

The Used after a half hour intermission brought disapointment. The lead singer, Bert McCracken, voice was drowned by his fellow band mates leaving the lyrics undistinguishable and difficult to hear. To those who were not overly familiar with the band the only recognisable songs were their single, I’ll That I’ve Got, from the album Love and Death, released in 2004 and Pretty Handsome Awkward, from their album Lies for Liars, released in 2007. If the band had achieved a more accomplished balance between drums, bass, lead guitar and vocals, which was not entirely their fault, their performance would have been vastly improved. This was The Used’s first time in Victoria as well as their first time touring with Three Days Grace; let’s hope that with their return they have found balance with their volume.

Three Days Grace’s presentation was astounding to no end. With their raw sound they achieved studio quality while singing live which is a rare find with mainstream bands in current times. As expected they played with integrity and energy that was contagious, this greatly benefited them. After proving repeatedly with every song they played that their sound was not just studio produced but indeed their true talent they continued with much encouragement from the crowd for two encores.

I guarantee that no one left that concert disappointed; I highly recommend seeing both Default and Three Days Grace live if given the opportunity. As for The Used perhaps it was just faulty tuning on the Stage Crew’s behalf, but I would still have to say stick to their CD’s. 

On Friday, October 30th Mel Gibson and his girlfriend, welcomed a brand new baby girl, named Lucia, to add to Mel’s already bulging brood of seven (now eight) children ranging in ages from 10 to 29. This is his first child with Oksana Grigorieva, a Russian musician.

Also in the news is Adam Lambert and his boyfriend Drake LaBry. They have officially called it quits. They were seen arguing outside of a club in Hollywood, after Adam was rumoured to have been hitting on another guy. Well Lammy I’m sure you’ll be fine, you are adorable after all.

Attention 90’s Kids! Because this is bound to make you happy.
The Spice Girls have been reportedly booked to perform at the 2012 Olympics in London. Eek! Yes, even I am pleased. They however have abandoned their Spice-y personas for an older, more mature vibe. Well..? Now what? How will we go on if we can no longer call Melanie Brown, Scary Spice? The Mayans were right, the world IS ending in 2012.

Poor Spunk Ransom.. He was swarmed by fans and paparazzi, while on a quick jaunt to a local drug store, in Hollywood this week. Well Robbie? What do you expect? You’re Edward Freakin’ Cullen!

Previously found on the well known Much Music TV show “DisBAND” the band “Stereos” was found. This band consists of five members;

Pat Kordyback -Lead Vocals
Miles Holmwood – Lead Guitar / Vocals
Daniel Johnson – Bass Guitar
Robb Chalifoux – Rhythm Guitar
Aaron Verdonk – Drums
Their debut album just came out on September 20 and has been a very popular choice in the music stores.  With their power-pop sound, their music is easy to dance to and sing along with. Their song “Summer Girl”, coming out just moments after their premier on DisBAND was a sure hit.  They have a very reasonable variety of fast and slower songs in their self-titled album. 

The only thing that may bother listeners may be their auto-tuned style.  It seems that every song has that *obviously edited* sound.  That’s the sound the band likes sending out, but if you listen to the album for awhile, the songs just seem to blend together into one, big, edited clump.  I’m not saying that the songs are bad, don’t get me wrong, all I’m saying is that the auto-tuned voice of Pat (as pretty as it is) can get on people’s nerves.

This being a debut album, I give them props. Other then the auto-tuned style, I would say I have no complaints. I haven’t gotten tired of it yet, so I’m sure it’s a good sign.  Stereos is definitely a band that, if you like to get up and dance (or like to look at the cute band members) I would recommend.